When you gain, you lose
by Miss Momolo
Summary: "You know what?" he said "What?" Summary: Azula played a trick on Mai and Zuko, leaving them trapped in a room. ONE-SHOT Review!


**When you gain, you lose**- Zuko and Mai fan fiction. I do not own ATLA or their characters!

Authors note: I have no idea how they ended up together. So here is what I think in my small creative head happened. This is took place on the boat where they kissed but I thought I bring it a little before that. How they meet. Hope you like. Luv you sis this is for you.

The waves from the boat rocked back and forth in a swaying form that made Zuko irritated. These waves that hold a moving contempt for as long as he kept it to be. Because these waves were the ones brining him home, to the Fire Nation, to his Father. Though the journey was long from Ba Sing Se, he thought it was worth it. For three long years he had waited and now conquering that land was the perfect pretext for him to return home, that, and that the Avatar was dead.

It all seemed too perfect, here outside the ship taking the salty air in, night stars shining through black skies. But why did he feel so miserable? _When you gain something, you lose something._ Those words were from his uncle, the only reason he felt out of place. If he could he would scream Fire, but he knew that if he did that he would draw attention and if he draw attention he would have to give explanations. Right in this moment he felt like talking to no one, maybe forever. It seemed as though every time he thought he got something right, it turned out to be for the worst. A battle within him was taking place; he only wished he knew what it was about. He wanted to know what everything was about. Why his Father burned and scarred him for life? What was he to learn through that? Why was he sent away looking for the Avatar when no one even knew if it even existed, anymore? Was his Father so ashamed of him that he would send him on an endless quest? Was his pride that big? But that didn't give him the power to rip him out of his home, his life, everything he never got to live. Only stuck in a ship for three years, if you're not counting the months he and his uncle spent in hide out because they were fugitives, all caused by his Father. What kind of Father would do that, anyway? And when everything was won, he wanted him back. But it was not about his Father, it was about his honor. Once he gets it back he won't need to feel sorry for his uncle or what they suffered together or the years he lost of his youth. He would have accomplished his destiny. He would be complete.

The waves made strange sounds, as if they were hitting the boat, again and again. It was tiring, so tiring that he felt his eyes closing as he looked at them. But then a sudden sound shook him out of it. He was alert even though he pretended to be unaware of anything. So whatever it was thought he was defenseless.

Zuko waited, and waited. But it never came, so he was force to be the one to pull it out. He turned around so quickly that the shadow hiding in the walls flinched, just as he let fire circulate out of his hands. "I know you're there. Who are you? Show yourself!"

As the fire hit the target, barely touching it, he saw a face that seemed almost scared. But not because she didn't felt anything. "Geez, now I can't enjoy the night too."

"Mai?" His voice sounded confused, and he hated it because he saw it was her. Why does he have to ask then? But he can fix this, just like everything. He swallowed. "What are you doing here?"

Mai seemed unchanged as she stepped out of the shadows and stopped beside him. "Ah," she moaned, "didn't you hear me? I said I was _enjoying the night._"

He frowned displeased. Why did she have to treat him like a retard? Though he sounded like one. "Whatever, just leave me alone."

Mai sighed as if it weren't more obvious. She turned to look at him. "Also, your sister sent me to look for you."

This surprised Zuko. "Why?"

"Beats me. She is your sister. Or were you adopted?"

Zuko looked away, out of every personal Azula has on the ship she had to pick this one. He sighed but didn't comment because he knew that if he did she'd say something clever. Something that would make him feel worse than he already is. Stupid.

"I guess," Mai said turning to towards the direction she came, "I'll lead the way." She started walking towards a door. He fallowed, regretting himself. Why hadn't he himself led his own way? Um, because he doesn't know where Azula is. So that gave him credit, but he still felt shagged. He could have asked where exactly _was_ Azula to any guard or slave in the ship. Oh, this was going to be dumb, he thought as they came through a hallway. This was clearly a trap because Azula never wants him around for anything, so why now? He could say no that was obvious. But deep inside he felt as if he owed her for giving him the credit for killing the Avatar and even though coming to her didn't pay the debt he felt less awful.

Zuko didn't know when but they had stopped, stopped in front of a large door. Azula's whereabouts in the most time they spent on the ship. It was like her throne or maybe sanctuary, this place was where she gave orders and commands. What does Azula want him here for?

"Do you need me to open the door too?" Mai sighed as she said this, and before she even waited for him to answer she was pushing the large doors. Why did she say that? It was as if she was saying he was scared or something.

To make it up he went in before she had a chance to do it, he turned and looked at her as he said, "Thanks but I think I could open a door."

Mai sighed, yet again as she came in behind him. Zuko hated when it was night at the ships because only fire was the only light within the ship. But this place was dark pitch. No one was here. He didn't see where he was going but he knew the place was small (for being Royalty, for Azula, he was surprise she didn't protested about it) that he might know where he was at. He was moving around trying to pin point where he was standing, trying to find a torch to light the room.

"Sorry," Mai said, sounding bored, "but Azula said to take care of you like baby brother."

Zuko tripped. "Considering I'm the oldest that seems largely exaggerated."

"Yeah," she agreed, voice bored still, "I know that."

Zuko breathe in, trying to keep his temper though that quickly failed as he shouted, "Then why are you treating me like a total-"

There was a slam. The door. He knew it was that because the flicker from the light outside was gone. Then there was a scream… from Mai. He was surprise considering she was an unfeeling blob. He tried to concentrate, on something else that wasn't her wild breathing, because he noticed footsteps from the outside. Maybe he could get help.

But before he spoke a voice said. "Zuzu, are you there?"

"Azula." He said a bit surprise but not quite.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but the doors are locked, stuck. I can't open it."

"What?" Zuko heard Mai said, her usual stable voice seemed frantic and scared. Then he heard metal, hitting fist or was it fist hitting metal. "You get me out of here Azula! Or… Or I'll… I'll break the door!"

"Oh," Azula said as if it was the punch line of the joke. "It can't be broken, not by silly tools or Fire Bending. It's supposed to protect Royalty. I'm so sorry Mai but you'll just have to wait until an expert comes by and… opens it. Tomorrow. Morning."

Zuko heard a giggle right after Azula said this, and he knew it was a joke, a trap as he had expected. The voice was from Ty-lee. She must know about this too. But why did she do it? He had been with his uncle for so long that her playing games strangely didn't bother him. Didn't she know this? Maybe because the joke wasn't for him…

"Ty-lee," Mai said, banging harder, "I swear if you're in anyway related to this I'm going to kill you."

"I'm sorry Mai," Ty-lee said from the other side sounding generally sorry, "but you'll have to wait for an expert."

Zuko felt enraged, this was just another game for Azula. He joined Mai's banging, then started running, then jumped, twisted, and gave a kick with Fire on his feet to the metal doors. When it didn't work he started hitting continually with Fire, then he just threw Fire, like an inferno. It took a while, but he slowly realized Azula was right, this door wouldn't open. But Mai hadn't given up, she started throwing her knifes until she ran out, then started using her hands again.

"I told you," Azula said, when it was calmer, "that you have to wait. Now, Mai, Zuzu, I suggest you get a goodnights rest because is going to be a long night."

"Why don't you call the experts now?" Asked Zuko but there was no answer, he waited some more, though it was clear she had felt. It was hopeless now.

"I can't believe her." Mai sounded surprised, he wondered why, since she was one of her friends, she must know how she was like. She started hitting the door again. "Let me out!" She screamed to the outside, when there was no reply she hit again. And again.

Zuko sighed, as he stepped away from the door, and into the center where he thought he might be. It'd be best if he lighted the room, maybe calmed Mai too. He breathed in air, repeatedly, and then position himself. He has to shine the whole room, then find the torches and set them on fire. With every breath he gathered energy, and energy, until he thought he had enough. Then he just let it out. As a gigantic Fire ignited his hands he tuned in circles, trying to find the torches but as he turned he saw that there weren't torches anymore, as if someone took them all and cleared the whole room. Then he saw Mai, looking at him, amazed. She looked hollowed and betrayed. He didn't understand why she was taking this so dramatically. He had his whole childhood to expect this from Azula, so had she, so why so surprise?

This couldn't last forever, and his flames died out. They were in the darkness again. Mai had stopped hitting the doors and was somewhere in the room. He was standing in the middle. Maybe Azula was right, it be best if they just rested for tomorrow…

He was about to sit down when he heard a voice say, "Zuko…?"

Zuko sighed.

"Where are you?"

Zuko raised a hand and set it on Fire, Bending it just enough so Mai could find him in the darkness. She was still at the door, paralyze as if she couldn't believe where she was. When she saw the flicker she snapped, but still didn't move. Zuko sighed, yet again; it was incredible how now he was doing the same thing as her (Sighting I mean), so irritating. "What is it?"

She didn't answer.

Zuko took a long drank of air then slowly let the Fire die. "You should listen to Azula and get some rest it's going to be a long night."

"Wait." Mai said, desperately, making Zuko hold the Fire a bit longer. "Can you hold the fire a little bit more?"

So Zuko did then five minutes passed, and he was standing still, in the same place. His feet were getting tired and he wanted to sleep on the floor so badly. His Fire was light, so it didn't shine much of anything. Mai could be sleeping right now and he be standing here like and idiot, hadn't she done that already?

Just as he let the Fire die a voice shouted. "Wait. What are you doing?"

She was still awake? Zuko inhaled, trying not to lose it. "I was about to rest. You can't expect me to be all night doing bending Fire because- because what?" He felt annoyed, who was she to order him around. "Because you asked me to?"

"That's exactly what I'm asking."

Zuko felt anger, and the Fire in his hand grew bigger with every air he took. "And who are you to do it then!"

The room was almost light like the time before, he saw Mai staring at him serious, almost mad, she had fist at her side as she stood strongly at him. "Forget it then!" She shouted to him as she threw herself in the ground then, laying her head in her knees and grapping it with her hands. Her expression changed, it turned in to the old Mai. "Geez, you don't have to be such a girl about it."

"I'm not!" He cut the Fire then let himself fall to the ground just like her, maybe if he rested and ignored her he would go through the night okay. He laid on the floor, using his hand as a pillow and started breathing. Slowly he began finding peace, his center. Then the picture of his uncle came to his mind, and his words. If he were here he would be comforting him, trying to calm him down. Why did he have to betray him and his Nation? Why couldn't he just come with him home? They were happy then, why couldn't they be happy now? _When you gain something, you lose something._ He gained his honor back, but lost his pride. He won back respect, but lost his Uncle's respect. It was like weighting, trying to find the balance. Sad part was: you can never find it. Because: _When you gain something, you lose something. _

Zuko's train of thought was broken by a sniffling. Was it Mai? He tried to look around but it was too dark to see. What would his uncle do…? "Um, so, Mai, what's up? Are you scared of the dark or something?"

"I'm not scared of the dark," she snapped, "I'm scared at tight dark places."

"So… _you're_ scared of the dark."

"I told you I'm not scared of the dark, you jerk!"

Zuko turned to her setting himself on Fire. "I'm just trying to help."

The light from Zuko made it possible for him to see her eyes watering up. "Well, you're doing a lousy job at it."

"At least I'm _trying."_ He let the Fire evaporate. "Whatever."

"Wait." Mai whispered. "Can you please stay like that?"

Zuko raised an eyes brow. "What do you mean- Fire Bending?"

"Yes."

Zuko let out a long breath as he sat up trying to find Mai's face again. "The things is- I'm tired… and if I fall asleep then the Fire's no more."

"Then…" Mai said, thinking a few moments. Zuko heard shifting and movement, then out of nowhere Mai's face appeared to his right. He jumped at the sudden image. "I'll have to keep you awake."

"Oh, great." The breath from Zuko's mouth made the fire shift. Mai didn't say anything, and he was glad she did because if she said one of those wispy comments he would go berserk.

"Thanks, anyway." She offered.

As he was staring at her face trying to decipher if the comment was sincere or sarcastic, he realized that she was close to him. Close enough to see his scarred face. No one except- maybe the Avatar's Water Tribe girl- had been this close as if to actually see it. He tried to look away, giving her his good side and hiding with the shadows the other. He lowered the Fire to help the affect.

"I was kidnapped when I was just a little girl." Mai said, looking at him in the eyes, trying to find the other that was missing. "My father being Governor and all, it was prone to happened. Though he always said it would never happen to us, we were special and also there were guards and servants and him. He said he would never let anything happened to me."

Zuko pulled the flames out of his disfigured face, slightly interested. "What happened then?"

At this Mai laid her hands on her knees using her arms as pillows like she used them before, her eyes flashed to somewhere else. Her moth was cover by her hands, so when she started talking it startled him. Her eyes searched the room as she said this. "He was wrong of course. One of the guards was a spy and a thief and he kidnapped me. He claimed a ransom after we were far away from home. I didn't even know where, but he locked me on a room, dark with nothing, not even a shred of light for five days. And I didn't eat for five days either, I just heard and saw and felt nothing… So yeah, I'm _not_ afraid of the dark." Her eyes finally found him at the end, and he saw that they were like wet crystals.

Zuko then realized that the trick was not for him, for Azula intended it to be for Mai. Like when they were kids and she used to trick him in to playing with him just to trick him one more in to a sick joke. This _was _a sick joke. "I'm sorry," he said, apologizing for him and Azula, even though he knew it didn't fixed anything.

Mai didn't say anything; she was just looking at him, brows forward as if trying to figure out something. But he knew what she was staring at. And he felt like he should explain, thought he didn't know why. Mai shared this tragedy with him, so why did he feel the need to also share something tragic?

He looked at her as he brought the flame to his face. "My own Father marked my face and my world and my honor and my destiny for life. He was never thinking about me, in his mind it is only fit for himself only." He let out a bit of anger in one exhale as he closed his eyes. "At first everyone only saw this," he opened his eyes and pointed at his scar as he looked at Mai attentively. "And they still do, but I learn to ignore it and if I try hard enough I can pretend they are looking at my old face, the old me. Even Azula when she first saw me couldn't bare it… she'd said: 'Now the world is going to see how ugly you really are.'" He didn't know why but he couldn't stop talking. And he couldn't stop waiting for a reaction even though she only stared at him, emotionless. "The only bright side in this is that for three long years I didn't have to integrate any society, try to make them understand who I am. I never had to worry myself about anything of youth or what normal teenagers do. It's just me."

He was finished, even though Mai kept looking at him expecting more. She seemed unmoved, unchanged un-nothing. He sighed, defeated. "But I don't think you could understand."

Mai pulled her head completely out of her arms and looked at him, as if he were the strangest thing in the world. He wanted to turn off the light and beat the doors open, but something dared him not to, just something. "If…" Mai said, the words echoing through the walls and retuning back. "If I pretend hard enough I can see your face with the scar because what I'm really seeing is the always you, because really you never did changed. And you're the only one to decide whether you let your Father really mark your life or honor or destiny or face. And Azula is wrong you're not ugly." She blushed at this. "She is the only one letting the world know how ugly _she_ really is. This scar," she reached out and touched it, "doesn't define what you are, because you're the one who defines what it is. And what it is: is a symbol of how strong and willful you really are, the struggles you had and the sacrifices you made, it isn't you, it's only a part of it. It's sad that people don't see it that way, it's sad that they don't understand who you are ….and maybe I don't either."

Zuko didn't know what to say, he just opened his mouth but Mai wasn't done. "And your right, you didn't miss anything of youth or what normal teenagers do."

_When you lose something, you gain something. _He supposed his uncle got it mix or maybe he knew he did. Maybe that was the wholly propose. To discover the difference. He lost his dear uncle but he gain something more…

"When you lose, you gain." He said it, as he let the fire dry up and before she complained about the dark he pulled her in for an embrace. At first she was tense but when she realize what it was she pulled her arms around him too.

"You know what?" he said

"What?"

"In the darkest places is where light shine its brightest faces."


End file.
